10 Self Care Ideas for Taking Care of You

I love being a mom. If you read my blog regularly, you know that I am a special needs mom on top of being a mom to eleven (yes they are ALL mine) amazing children. But one of the most important lessons I learned in being a mom and especially a caregiver is the importance of self care.

In the beginning of my journey, I didn't know the importance of this. (I talk about that in my new podcast Sunshiny Thoughts click here to listen) I would give and give and feel so guilty when I needed to take time for myself or when I felt overwhelmed. But a few years ago, a friend told me that I couldn't take care of the children, if I wasn't taking care of me. 

Now there are a lot of things you can do for self care. I have my favorites that help me destress and regroup so I can keep going.

These include: 

• Taking a time out - five or ten minutes to regroup and just breathe. 
• Going for a walk. Fresh air does amazing things to clear your head. 
• Drinking water - when I'm dehydrated I'm cranky. So I need to make sure that I am drinking enough water. 
• Reading a book - I love to read. I will often grab my kindle and sit and read. This helps me relax and be able to handle the day.
• Pray - This is my go to. As many of you know, I am a Christian. I believe firmly in the power of prayer. I believe that I can take my needs to the Lord as he wants to know what I am feeling. God knows my heart. He knows what I'm going through. Somehow when I pray I feel peace. 
• Listen to Music- I have my playlist of music. I love to listen to Casting Crowns, Tenth Avenue North, Hillsong United, Elevation Worship, etc when I am stressed. My favorite song right now is Chris Tomlin's Good Good Father. I know the Lord is good and I know that He is faithful!!
• Exercise - I'm not the greatest with this one. But it's definitely needed. Take a break and go for a walk. Nature is a wonderful treasure. 
• Talk to a friend - often we talk to little people as moms but we need to talk to our friends. Fellowship, reconnect, and sometimes even praying with a friend can reset your mood and your day.
• Take a bubble bath - This one is my favorite one as I love to get different kinds of bubble bath.
• Journal- I have a prayer journal that I write in when I'm upset, happy, lonely, etc. It helps me to get my thoughts on paper. When I do I feel a sense of release and peace. 

The important thing to do is take care of you!! In order for me to do this, I keep my things in order. I start my day off with my morning devotional, prayer, and then set my goals for the day. This helps me focus and have peace of mind. As you go through this journey, you'll learn what works for you. Make a note in your self care journal of what this could be.

Be Blessed!!

Subscribe to our mailing list

Sunshiny Thoughts - Podcast Episode One Self Care

Hi everyone!! I am so excited to announce the launch of the Sunshiny Thoughts podcast. This podcast is designed to encourage, uplift, and inspire you in your journey of motherhood and your walk with the Lord.

This week my guest is Laura Beth Culbert who known on You Tube as Delusion Dispeller. Laura is a lifecoach, wife, mom, and loves cats. Join us as she shares about her own struggles with learning the importance of taking care of herself while learning to fully rely on the Lord.

I also have a free self care Journal worksheet for everyone who subscribes to the podcast simply subscribe and send an email to sunshinythought@gmail.com and I will send you the Journaling worksheet right away.

Thanks for your support!!

Have a Blessed Day!!

Review: Inspire Journaling Bible NLT

Bible journaling has become very popular over the last few years. Bible journaling is simply taking scripture and creativity and making the word come alive. To do it you need a pen, coloring pencils, markers, stamps, etc.
When I knew that I wanted to start Bible journaling, I started searching for a great Journaling Bible. You can find a variety of Journaling Bibles on the market from ones that have all lines and you can create your own lettering to ones like the Inspire Bible which have preprinted verses and journaling space.
My Inspire Bible was a gift for my 40th Birthday. I chose it because of the brilliant turquoise color and beautiful illustrations.  Since I was new to Bible Journaling, I wanted a Bible with examples of what to do. This Bible is perfect for that.
The Bible is full of great lettering, illustrations, and flowers. I also love how the pages of the Bible come together when closed to show beautiful flowers, leaves, and butterflies. Butterflies are one of my favorite things because of my daughter.
The text is easy to read and has headings that make each passage stand out.

I love the example found here with Proverbs 18:10 NLT The name of the Lord is a strong fortress; the godly run to him and are safe. 

The lettering in this illustration is bold and key words stand out. Also the fortress at the bottom is a great reminder of the part of the verse that is key. That is that we can run to the Lord and he will keep us safe.

The second example is the lines of the Bible has to offer. I use these for writing sermon notes instead of journaling. I love this idea because I will go back over it later and remember what my pastor has preached.
I also love how each book of the Bible opens with beautiful illustrations. This Bible is in the NLT translation. This translation is easy to read and understand.
I highly recommend this Bible for anyone who wants to start Bible journaling. It will not only give you ideas on how to journal in your Bible but it will also give you the space to be creative yourself.

I grabbed my Bible on Amazon but it can be found at any Christian retailer. 

I hope you have enjoyed this review. Leave me a comment on what your favorite journaling Bible is. 

Hurricane Irma

Like most of you, I've been glued to my television screen watching the vivid images of Hurricane Harvey. Now we are on watch as we watch our family and friends brace for Hurricane Irma. My Facebook has been flooded with hurricane tips, tips on charging your phone in a storm, and where to store the things you love the most.

But as I sit and watch the panic and everyone concerned for their loved ones, we are missing one thing. Prayer.
Now I'm not saying that if we all sit and pray that this hurricane will go away. I agree you still need to be proactive and get to safety. But one thing I do know is their is power in prayer.
Today as I was praying about the fires, flood, hurricanes. I was drawn to Psalms 91. It has been a Psalm that I have read when I am scared, worried, and wondering Lord what is going on.
Psalms 91 reads, " Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find REST in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord, He alone is my REFUGE, my place of safety. he is my God, and I trust him. For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease. He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

I love these few verses. But I love all of Psalms 91. It is a reminder that because I am a believer in Jesus that I can find REST in HIM. I can trust that HE has my best interest at heart. We can find rest in the Lord in the storm. We can know that He will watch over us.  The important thing is not to panic but pray. Pray for our loved ones in harms way, pray for the responders who are ready to help those in need, pray that the winds die down and Irma shifts back into the ocean where it  belongs.

My heart broke when I saw the images from Hurricane Harvey in Texas. I have always loved Texas. When we lived in Oklahoma we traveled to Dallas often. The people of Texas are strong people. Their love for their state is one of a kind.
The people of Florida have dealt with storms before. They say this storm is stronger. But I know my God is bigger than any storm. I also believe in the power of prayer to pray this storm back out to sea. I believe the Lord calms the winds and waves.
Join me in praying for the people of Puerto Rico, the people of Florida, and for this hurricane to get weaker and lose strength.
Father, we come to you in the name of Jesus. Father you see Hurricane Irma about to strike Puerto Rico and Florida. Father I thank you that you calm the storms of life and that you can cause this hurricane to break apart. Father thank you for this storm breaking and the winds dying down. Father thank you for minimal damage and for lives being saved. Father thank you for how you are at work even in the middle of the recovery of Hurricane Harvey. Father I pray for the people of Texas and all they are going through specifically the Houston area. Father I pray for the fires in California, Oregon, Montana, and Colorado to die down. Father I pray for rain to fall in those areas. I pray for strength for the fire fighters. Father thank you for the job they do every day to keep us safe. Father thank you for what you are doing even in the middle of these disasters. Father thank you for bringing peace to our storms and providing for all our needs. Bring peace to these areas and calm. I pray these things in Jesus Name, Amen.

Thank you for joining me in prayer today. I will be posting Hurricane tips of Familysource.net Facebook page.

Be Blessed!!

Emotional Affairs - Guarding Your Heart Part 2

Welcome back everyone!! Thank you for your positive response to my article this week on Emotional affairs. Today we begin part 2 of this series.
Guarding your heart is easy when you know what you are guarding it against. You can shield your eyes from pornography, from negative thinking, from television shows that will influence your life in a different way.
I never thought I would need to guard my heart from a simple email. To me it was harmless, two old friends who shared a connection at one point in time catching up. After all it's always good to catch up with old friends. But when the enemy picks things to test you - he uses the very things that he knows will hurt you the most.
I was comfortable in my walk with the Lord. I was doing well in school.
I love to watch Hallmark Channel movies. In fact, most times when I am bored you will find me watching Hallmark movie. Often you see people reunited with their long lost love. You think it can't happen like that - after all it is the movies.

Emotional affairs happen slowly. When we had dated we were friends first.  I'll never forget the first time I met Lucas. It was in church. He was standing downstairs after teaching children's church. He was tall, handsome, and loved the Lord. We found out that we had a lot in common once we started talking.  On my checklist, he met almost every requirement for who I wanted in a husband. It was part of my checklist for dating.  My cousin had introduced us. She felt we would be a great match.

Things were great for a long time but slowly things between us started to unravel. So when we reconnected, we caught up over old times. I remembered things from my past that I had buried deep. Good memories, bible verses that I had loved, etc. Lucas brought back a part of me that I hadn't seen in years. I had missed teaching which I had done when I dated Lucas. I had missed going to the beach, etc. Lucas brought back happy memories.

Because of all the medical stuff we had been through, I quit laughing. I didn't smile a lot because I hated my smile (I had a broken front tooth) and I was really broken. Have you been there? Have you been broken?
I was watching my sweet baby daughter have to go through tests. Getting comments from people of well you wouldn't be going through this if you didn't have so many kids. (Thanks for telling me something that I didn't already know) I also got comments about how selfish I must be. But I wasn't selfish and these people didn't know my story.

People haven't dealt with things that they need to. Instead we bury them. I was accustomed to burying things.
Lucas listened to me and we didn't talk every day. It was an occasional, "Hey just checking in. Hope your day is going well." Then a Bible verse here and there. Sometimes it was a picture of something that we knew we both loved. But it wasn't I love you and you're amazing. It was a slow build up.
Lucas was encouraging when I needed it the most. Truthfully, some days those texts were what I needed to keep going.
I got weary, got tired, and I was asking the Lord why. My husband and I grew further apart but in distance and emotion. Tensions rose high between us as he hated the job that he was working. He would come home and nothing would make him happy. I was frustrated because he wouldn't take time to listen to me and would just zone out. But to outsiders, we had the perfect marriage. Even I thought so. To our children, they wondered when we would be that loving couple that had existed before.
It seemed like in those moments when I was at my weakest Lucas would text me. He would remind me to keep going. He'd remind me how much I loved my children.
As I said in yesterday's blog post, I am not writing this story because I am proud of my journey. I am writing to help spare another person who reads it from pain. I am also writing it to help you all understand that God takes a story meant for disaster and uses it for good.
I love Romans 8:28, it is one of my go to verses. It reads, " And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
Lucas and I started talking more frequently.  I learned that his mom was fighting cancer again. It broke my heart to hear that she was going through this storm. Cancer had touched my own life personally as I watched my mother in law battle cancer.  I wanted him to know that I was praying for him and for his family.
I knew that God could heal her. I knew God could touch her body. I knew he would need someone to be there for him. I also knew his fiancee wasn't being supportive. Similar to my situation. So I encouraged him. I reminded him of who he was because of Jesus, etc. Seems harmless right?
It wasn't. It fact, it was harmful.
It hurt my integrity, my character, my marriage, and my relationship with my children.
I won't get into the rest of my story in this post but I do want to talk about how you heal from an emotional affair.

So how do you heal from an emotional affair?

1. You need to set boundaries. Don't cross lines that shouldn't be crossed.
2. Pray and seek wise counsel. The best thing about getting past all that happened was I made the decision to ask wiser people to help me in my pain. I got a great mentor, surrounded myself with wonderful supportive friends, and prayed through it.
3. Change your phone number, block the person on Facebook, and don't open yourself to these kinds of ways. Cut off all contact.
4. Pray for healing. If you've had an emotional affair know you aren't alone. Their is healing found in Jesus. Pray for the Lord to heal your heart and those pieces of you that the enemy used to try to break you. That healing won't come over night but slowly it will come.
5. Do things that you love. Spend time with your family, friends, and get back to being you.
6. Know that no matter what Jesus loves you. He died on the cross and rose again to give you eternal life. Ask for forgiveness and he will freely give it to you. There is freedom in Jesus.
7. Love your family. They were given to you for a reason.

I hope this series has helped you and that the Lord speaks to your life. If you have had emotional affair know that Jesus loves you and their is healing through him. He will heal the broken places of your life and restore your life. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. (Phil. 4:13)

Emotional Affairs - Guard Your Heart Part 1

The Bible tells us in Proverbs 4:23 to "Guard Your Heart above all else for it determines the course of your life." I knew about guarding my heart against the things of the world but I didn't know that the enemy would use a important person in my life to cause me to let my guard down. 

In 2012, I was attending Bible college at Grand Canyon University. Our family also was going through really difficult storms. My youngest daughter Felicity was born and she wasn't growing. She was in the hospital and going down the same path that I had seen Jackson and Brighton go down. My heart was breaking. My husband was working long hours, discontent, and hurting. But in the same aspect I was also happy in my professional life.  I was accomplishing a dream that I had had since I was a teenager. I always wanted to go to Bible college. 

As a teenager that dream got derailed when I left home because I met a guy and focused on that instead of what God had called me to do. Looking back, I understand why. I wasn't ready for college at 18 years of age. I still had a lot of growing up to do.
When God opened the door for me to go to Bible college I was overjoyed. I remember sitting in Grand Canyon University arena listening to Third Day and deciding to take the step. "I'm just going to see if it's possible." I didn't think it would be but knew if it was the Lord would open doors for me. 

He opened those doors WIDE. I started classes at GCU and was so excited. Here I was a mom of ten children, managing a house, medical day to day things, and going to college. Did I think I was Super woman? No I knew that I wanted to be somebody, to make a difference in the world for Jesus. I wanted to be a light in the darkness and make people smile. 

One day when going through my email, my long time mentor and friend emailed me a picture of Jesus, I wrote her back. In my email, I thanked her for sending it to me. I also shared with her my successes. I wrote her about my children and how I had taken the steps to go to college. I wanted her to know this because she had always wanted me to go to school. This woman was a huge influence in my life both in my family and in my relationship with the Lord. I told her how I had made the Dean's List. I told her that I was surprised as I didn't think I had what it took to go to college. But through God's grace and strength I can do this. I thanked her for her prayers because she was always praying for me and my family.  

I didn't know that that email would lead to a new adventure. I didn't know that that email would open my heart to things that I didn't ever think I could be susceptible to. But sadly, it did.

I am not proud of what I am going to write in these next few paragraphs and pages. But it is my story and I am thankful that God can take and use the broken pieces of our life and use them for his good. 

I was sitting upstairs in my bedroom working on schoolwork. I was studying for a test or reading a textbook when I got an email. The email was from her son. At first, I thought the email was spam. I was going to hit delete. But after one email came then came another. I remember I called my best friend and asked her what to do. This person from my past was emailing me. I didn't think I would ever hear from them especially how we had left things. I had dated her son in 1995. 

I remember that day that I said good bye to him. My cousin was getting married and moving to Illinois. I was left at her house to pack up and get things ready.  I needed advice. So my neighbor who I was living with called him and asked him to come over. She secretly wanted us to get back together. Lucas pulled in the driveway. I was hesitant to see him. We had a lot of damaged feelings between us. I had been seeing someone else, he was hurt, but yet he still came to help me through a decision. He sat on one side of the room and I sat on the other. We talked for a small amount of time. And then that was the last time that I saw him.

As I sat at the computer staring at this email, I didn't know what to say. I was at a place in my life where I was happy. I didn't think anything could derail me. But it did.

Shawnee, I just wanted to say Hi. I'm hoping we can and will talk soon (as friends) I hope all is well with you. God bless you. Lucas

So odd, so out of the blue. But it didn't see harmful. It seemed like a harmless email.  He continued to send me messages and tell me about his dog and said he didn't put a subject in the first message as he wasn't sure if I would just delete it not knowing who it is. It's just me. Hope to hear from you soon.

We talked for a bit back and forth. I shared about my children, going to school, I asked how his family was. Lucas had always wanted a family so I figured by now he would have at least 3 kids, a beautiful house, and the life that he had dreamed of. But he didn't.  

Congrats on going to college and doing so well. Who would have thought you could do so much and so well? ME! I always believed in you! I knew you could accomplish anything you set your mind to. I'm very proud of you. He went on to tell me about how he had graduated since we were dating when he was in college. He told me about how he planned on going into ministry but that the details hadn't been revealed to him yet. Trusting in God is the only way. I'll let you know more when I know.

I encouraged him. Reminding him of great verses in the Bible that I held to during difficult times. The very verses that I had learned in church and at the church that he and I attended together.  

In my mind it was innocent, two old friends catching up. I even let my husband read the messages. He wasn't okay with it because he never trusted Lucas. But he let me do what I felt that needed to do. Over time Lucas and I would talk. One day when we talked, he rocked my whole world. 

You see I was okay with how things had ended up between us because I knew that I wasn't good enough for him. I knew that I wasn't what God had for him. But when he told me a different story. I was broken. I remember the day he had told me what had happened and how people had made him believe things that weren't even remotely true to change his view of me. I was shocked. 

When you get unsettling news and it hits you, that's how I felt that day. How could these very people who I trusted and loved - told him that I had done these things. Things that I hadn't done or would have thought of doing. I was committed to loving him, I was supposed to be his wife someday. But it didn't matter - I was in a happy place or so I thought. 

I told Lucas that I was praying for him and that it was good to catch up. I told him that I was praying for him and believing for God's best for his life. I told that to all my friends because it was true. I had prayed for God's best for him and his family like the Lord said to do since the day we said good bye. But I had let my heart unguarded and my unguarded heart would lead me in a direction that was permissive. Thankfully the Lord would carry me every step of the way. 

Have you left your heart unguarded? Open to the things of the World and not the things of God? Have you left yourself open to things that you never thought you would? The great thing is we have freedom in Jesus. The Lord loves to heal the broken places of our life. If you need healing in your broken, unguarded places, cry out to Jesus today. 

Be Blessed!! 

*The names in this story have been changed to protect those involved.